The following story is true and happened recently while our team was on the sidewalk. We deal with moms coming to abort who often tell us they fear they will die if they continue in the pregnancy. There are key points in this case study we highlight that are good to know when counseling high-risk mothers.
Be Available and Compassionate
The young lady stopped instantly outside the abortion center driveway when I smiled and waved. She rolled down her window.
“I really appreciate what you all are doing,” she said as she reached for the literature I offered. “I don’t want to be here, believe me … but I have no choice. I will die if I have this baby.”
Now I have heard this before, and most of the time it is not true; however, something about the woman’s eyes convinced me that at least, in her mind, this WAS true.
“What’s going on?” I asked.
“I have a 3-month old at home,” she said. “I almost died when she was born. My uterus ruptured. They did surgery but they told me if I got pregnant within the next year, it would likely rupture again. It is too soon after the surgery. I could die.”
Her eyes welled with tears.
Offer a Second Opinion with High-Risk, Pro-Life Doctor
“I am so sorry,” I said. “This must be very hard on you. I feel terrible for your situation, but we have a high-risk doctor who would be willing to talk with you for free. I can get her on the phone right now. She and her husband have a combined 80 years of working with high-risk maternity cases. Would you just be willing to talk with her?”
The woman paused and then dabbed at her eyes.
“I just can’t,” she said. The tears were flowing big time now. It was abundantly clear this woman did not want to kill her baby but felt trapped in the decision for fear of her own life.
“My heart breaks for you. Do you know God?”
She nodded, holding a tissue to her eyes.
Emphasize Possibility of Maternal Death with Certainty of Aborted Baby’s Death
I went on telling her that all pregnancies have dangers associated with them, and any could end in death to the mother; however, that was only a possibility, while abortion was a certainty for the death of the baby.
“Would you just take the time to talk to Dr. Edith before you make your final decision? If you decide to let us help you, she would connect you with doctors who specialize in high-risk pregnancies. We have a mentorship program of a woman with the backing of a church who would walk alongside you for a year and link you with resources that can help no matter what other obstacles you face. We do baby showers that provide two years of your baby’s clothing and equipment. Would you consider pulling over and let me get Dr. Edith on the phone?”
She paused. “Let me look this pamphlet over and think about it.”
Offer Prayer and Use It to Reiterate Key Points
“May I pray with you?” I asked.
She nodded. I prayed that God would help her to trust Him even in this very hard thing. I prayed that she would consider not only her struggle, but the baby’s value and life as well. I prayed that God would give her discernment to do what would be best. She thanked me. Instead of driving into the abortion center, she drove into the next door call center lot. I followed and stood nearby. It was clear she was crying and reading our pamphlet. I instantly texted Daniel, who was overseeing 30 trainees for sidewalk outreach at that very moment. They were already on their way to shadow our team. I asked him to pray after briefly relaying the situation. I knew he and the trainees would all be praying immediately.
Then I called Dr. Edith and told her the story. She said the situation WAS serious, and she would need to consult with some experts and do a little research. She urged me to have the woman call so she could find out more specifics.
Never Give Up
I prayed and paced near the call center lot. I made sure the woman could see me. If she decided to call Edith, I wanted to be easily found. After a half hour, she pulled out. She stopped for me again at the driveway and rolled down her window:
“Will you let me call Edith?” I asked.
“Give me her number please,” she said.
While I was writing down Edith’s number, one of the clinic managers saw me. He came racing over, screaming at me to get out of his driveway and to quit harassing women. In the past, he has shoved me and kicked another counselor’s belongings. We knew he could be violent. A fellow counselor saw him coming at me and raced down the sidewalk with her phone clearly recording him. We train our counselors to videotape aggression from the opposition in case we need proof for the police should it escalate.
Be Very Careful to Not Videotape Patients When Possible
The woman knew none of that history. Horrified, she asked the counselor, “Are you videotaping me?”
Furious, she rolled up her window. I told her, no, our counselor was videotaping the man, but it was too late. She drove into the abortion center lot and hurried into the building.
Use Specifics From Discussion with the Mom to Speak Further
I was devastated. I got on the mic, which we are pretty sure is audible inside the building. I spoke about how fear can drive us to do things we should not do. I spoke of how God’s word tells us “Do not fear” 365 times. I repeated all the help we had and the promise that God is a God of the impossible and He can make a way when there seems to be no way.
It was a busy day and I was responsible for helping to train the new people. I felt like I had been punched in the stomach but soon had pushed the woman out of my mind to deal with the needs of the day. Edith texted me to assure me her research was very optimistic. There were safe ways to manage this pregnancy and save BOTH the baby and the mother.
An hour later, I saw a car stop on the way out of the abortion center for our counselors at the far driveway. Awareness began to dawn on me as the car slowly approached me. It was the woman. She had been in the abortion center at least an hour. The abortionist had arrived in the interim.
She pulled over and rolled down her window.
“I couldn’t do it,” she said.
I lay my head down on the open window and cried. And then I offered her our mentorship program (which she eagerly accepted) and finished writing Edith’s number on a piece of paper. I gave her one of my painted rocks and took a photo of her holding it. Then I texted that to her immediately so she would have my name and number.
Rejoice and Thank God
Later that day, I received the text copied below. Sometimes, we see no fruit from our work on the sidewalk. We all face times of doubt and wonder if it’s worth it. We know that our obedience to God in His call to speak for the voiceless IS the victory; but when we see a woman like this whose child is alive and who has had hope restored, we’re filled with an unending joy that only the Lord can provide.
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