Sidewalk Reflection: Counterintuitive Things We Learned

Over the years of being involved in sidewalk ministry, we’ve had some experiences that taught us that what we previously believed was sometimes incorrect. In this article, we want to share a few of those things and offer some encouragement and biblical insights to help equip you. 
 

• The importance of timing: You can say the right thing at the wrong time and have it backfire on keeping the women engaged long enough to change their mind
• Mentioning adoption usually isn’t best: almost always shuts down the conversation especially if mentioned too early. VERY few moms end up willing to go through pregnancy only to place the child for adoption.
• Your tone matters a lot: Saying the right thing in the wrong tone is still off-putting 
• If they don’t respond, it doesn’t mean they aborted: Some contact us months later, some just don’t want to remember they ever considered abortion, some don’t want us in their business
• Righteous anger rarely helps the situation at that crisis place: Our anger usually only ends in the escalation of already raw emotions
• Their reasons – no matter how stupid – need to be seriously considered and heard: Listening is one of the greatest counseling techniques we have…but don’t be afraid to speak at the right moment. It is not kindness to let their twisted world view stand without scrutiny.
• Smiling, kindness and offering help to murderers is often fruitful: The goal is their hearts will be transformed by God. That usually requires mercy and grace as well as truth.
• Offer prayer and Jesus even when they don’t appear to be at all receptive: I had a situation last week of  a woman who went on board our mobile ultrasound unit. She was stone faced with a flat affect, and seemingly unengaged through the entire first hour-and-a-half. Then, the prayer I offered at the end was the FIRST show of repentance and emotion. The enormity of what she had contemplated hit her HARD when open, heartfelt prayer to God was audibly expressed.
• Trust the power of the Gospel when you don’t know what to do or say: A solid choice for life in deeply vulnerable, traumatic situations can only occur when God is in the mix!
• PERSISTENCE (nagging) pays off: I literally was told a suicidal post-abortive woman I was counseling was dead. Following great advice from a friend, I continued to stay in touch, both with area police and the woman by text and discovered she had lied! She was very much alive and later thanked me for my persistence which finally led her to contact a trained trauma counselor. 
• Intense anger is a good sign: Any strong emotion means a nerve has been touched and conviction is beginning its work.
• They DON’T know what God says about sexual purity: Shocking as this is, some have told me they didn’t know God is specific about sex outside of marriage being disobedient to His will.
• Conflict is in EVERY heart: Whether you see it or not, no mother can kill her baby without feeling some level of conflict. It is NOT normal or good for a mother to kill her child.