The Tightrope of Compassion and Conviction

On the sidewalk of abortion centers, we desire to speak in a way that draws abortion determined women to come talk with us. We must speak in a compassionate way that helps them know we understand and care about them. However, we must also speak truth that convicts them to change their minds about killing their baby. The tension of conveying both compassion and conviction is not always an easy task. In this article, we seek to offer practical advice on what to say that helps us navigate that tightrope.

The longer we are on the sidewalk, there is a danger of growing harsher in our tone. Cynicism can creep into our soul. We can become suspicious and angry. We see so much rejection, so much death, so many hard hearts. It can be easy to lean more and more to the convicting tone and lose the grace and compassion that was so abundant when we began this work.

Suggestions to evaluate your tone and speech

1. Team leads and fellow SWO team members should monitor each other.
2. Ask team members to hold you accountable. If they feel your tone is not striking the proper balance, ask them to give you specific examples and suggestions.
3. Gauge yourself: are you feeling angry?Are you getting loud or shrill?Are you gravitating towards harsher verses?
4. Be very careful on amplified sound systems of speaking more than 5 or 10 minutes at a stretch. Your message can become hard to follow by people in crisis mode (the women aborting) and can feel like lecturing the women rather than trying to engage them to come enter a discussion.
5. Evaluate effectiveness. Do you rarely have people come to talk with you? Do you rarely have civil discussions or are they always angry? Do you see saved babies? While you do not have control over others’ choices, it is important to be careful that you are not reducing effective interactions because you are not approachable.
6. Remember we are not just “delivering mail.”We are wanting a conversation about our message. People do not approach if they feel condemned or lectured to.
7. Are you feeling self-righteous?Be careful about appearing or feeling that way. It is not conducive to discussion.
8. Are you using trigger or shock words…like“murderer.”Are you calling names?
9. Are you accusing without remembering you were once an enemy of God yourself when you were unsaved?
10. Do not start with the most confrontational or convicting statements. Start with the carrot, not the stick.
11. Think of painting a positive vision as opposed to focusing on the evil they intend.
12. Be respectful in tone, words, and actions. We should be mindful always that we are ambassadors of Christ, reflecting Him as closely as we can.
13. Recognize we ARE called to speak truth, but do not use that as an excuse to hammer people or shame them.
14. Be aware of your thoughts or personal private discussions about the women coming to abort. They can reflect a heart that is becoming bitter, angry, or self-righteous.

Samples of Heavy Conviction We May Want to Avoid Contrasted with More compassionate Phrasing

1. Would God have you murder your baby?/ Would God have you harm your child?
2. No matter what you face, murdering your child is not the answer./ We understand your circumstances may feel impossible, but does it justify taking the life of your innocent baby? Nothing is impossible with God.
3. You are wicked and an enemy of God!/ Jesus longs to draw you to Him and that is possible right now with this choice.
4. You are a tool and servant of Satan./ You can choose right now whom you will serve.The Bible says resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you!
5. You are weak, cowardly, and a murderous sinner./ You likely feel weak and unable to make a choice for life. The Bible says when we are weak, HE is strong! In fact, it says His strength is perfected in our weakness. In your weakness, ask Him to strengthen you to do what He would have you do. He never ignores that prayer!
6. You have sinned and now refuse to bear the result of the sin of sexual immorality./ While the circumstances that led to the conception of this child may not be ideal or even wrong, the child is not a mistake. God does not make mistakes, and that precious child is here because God wants that child here!
7. You deserve Hell!/ We know you are struggling and are here to offer you hope and help. No matter what you face or where you are from, we are here offering solutions to make it easier for you to choose life.
8. God hates you!/ The Bible says that God hates the hands that shed innocent blood in Proverbs 6:17. But He has provided a way out for you right now!!! You can come talk with us, get our free information, let us help you. God desires that NONE should perish…not your child OR you!!!

Verses that convict with Compassion

Jeremiah 1:5 “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.”

Genesis 1:27 So, God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.

Psalm 139:13-16 For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.

Psalm 127:3 Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Exodus 20:13 “You shall not murder.

Luke 1:41 And when Elizabeth heard the greeting of Mary, the baby leaped in her womb. And Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit,

Proverbs 8:35-36 “For whoever finds me finds life, And obtains favor from the Lord; But he who sins against me wrongs his own soul; All those who hate me love death.””

Proverbs 17:6 Grandchildren are the crown of the aged, and the glory of children is their fathers.

Psalm 127:3-5 Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.

Matthew 18:10 “See that you do not despise one of these little ones. For I tell you that in heaven their angels always see the face of my Father who is in heaven.

Genesis 1:28 And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”

Ephesians 2: 4-9 But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and raised us up together, and made us sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, that in the ages to come He might show the exceeding riches of His grace in His kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast.”

Romans 10:9-10 “that if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.”

1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God;

1 Corinthians 10:13 No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

Hebrews 13:4 Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.

Psalm 119:37 Turn my eyes from looking at worthless things; and give me life in your ways.

Deuteronomy 30:15,19 ““See, I have set before you today life and good, death and evil…I call heaven and earth as witnesses today against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore choose life, that both you and your descendants may live;”

Genesis 9:6 “Whoever sheds the blood of man, by man shall his blood be shed, for God made man in his own image.

Summary

This is hardly an exhaustive list, but I hope it is useful in helping you consider how to speak truth without a tone or words of condemnation or self righteousness. Keep the goal in mind. If the women and men will come talk with us in civil discussion, we have a greater opportunity to lead them to a choice of life and to share the Gospel. The women are in crisis and view us as the enemy. We need to choose our words carefully and guage our tone so that we do not support that view.